Craptanisty Land

Monday, November 06, 2006

What I learned from tradgedy

Tonight I attended the community meeting regarding the student at Ahwahnee middle school, who was killed by another student. It was an open forum and people were allowed to voice their comments to the public.

When I learned how to de-breif kids in crisis, the first thing I learned, was that kids always want to know if this could happen to them or if they are safe. It turns out that this is true for adults too. I learned that, just like little kids, everyone who spoke only talked about themselves and their own experiences. Most of the comments had nothing to do with this tradegic event. Many people talked about their own experiences with bullying (Chief Dyer made it public that the fight had nothing to with bullying). Others spoke about drugs on High School campuses (again not relevant). Many crittized the district, police department, parents and the children who watched the fight. One lady read a terrible poem that wasn't even inspired by the tradgedy. Few offered condolences to the family (who was in attendance) or any helpful suggestions.

I guess the only thing I learned is that adults are just as ego driven as little kids and as one lady put it "this wouldn't have happened if they hadn't taken prayer out of school." Geez Louise what a waste of 2 1/2 hours.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a real shame about the meeting. I read about the fight in the Fresno Bee when I was down there this weekend and was saddened by it. Do you know what caused the fight?

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not to sound snide, but does it matter? i've been pondering that.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ed - Well, I guess that depends on what you mean by "matter." None of this really matters to me in the sense you seem to intend, since I don't live in Fresno, I don't attend school in Fresno, I don't work in Fresno schools, and I don't have any children.

But Chief Dyer made a point of announcing that the fight had nothing to with bullying. Since I care enough to read the newspaper article on the fight I care enough to inquire further.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Ed -

Are you asking if it matters in a philosophical sense? Like, should we ponder the motives of two people in a fight? It sounds like you wonder if we should look for the reasons of strife. I say yes.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was asking in the sense, of does it really matter why kids got in a fight? not, why should you care as outsider.

being a person that believes the violence is never the answer, i contend that it doesn't matter why these two kids got in a fight. there is no honorable, rational reason why they arranged (latest stories indicate that it was set up between the 2 boys to fight later) to get in a fight after school. every answer ends up at the same point. two people engaged in an activity that led to the death of one.

as i said, i was thinking earlier about what could have sparked this fight. news stories had said bullying, the chief says no. but what cause would explain anything? what cause would allow us to feel better about the incident? would any cause allow us to say, "aha! that's why this one kid died."

now, i guess we could attempt to know why in an attempt to prevent further fights. but, really, this is just as effectively done by teaching people how to react nonviolently to all situations.

initially, i was going to say that it was a 'your mama' joke, but i felt that my own joke was crass.

finally, i was a kid that got in fights. generally, they were over stupid, meaningless stuff. honestly, i can't think of a fight i ever got in that was over something important. i was never defending the downtrodden, protecting those attacked on racial bias, hero to the innocent. usually, someone said something (sometimes i said it) and it led to fighting. other fights were simple alpha dog conflicts.

in high school, the conflicts i got in didn't evolve into fights, and they were about real issues. those of race, protecting people from being attacked, and so on. on these occassions, i interceded and stopped potential violence, without violence.

as a student teacher, i stopped fights between students. again, these were back to the usual, someone said something, stole someone's boyfriend, whatever.

as an adult, the two near fights were again because someone got their mouth running. both almost ended with me getting smacked. fortunately, neither went further. but, neither time would violence have been justified, or even needed. really, fighting over an insult?

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heather says (posting from ed's account) that the reason for the fight is not being disclosed but, it was due to a longstanding fued. The fight lasted approximately 20 seconds.

If you want to see some cheesey fotage of me at the meeting go to CBS47.TV and go to the CBS Live footage. It is really embarassing.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, that was you. I wanted to make a comment about how you looked sincere, but -- duh. Of course you were sincere. It was a serious meeting.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Monticore said...

Jay, thank god they used that particular moment to film me because there were a lot of times I was telling my dad jokes.

6:21 PM  

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