Craptanisty Land

Saturday, May 31, 2008

May was the month of love

This month has gone by so fast and it seems that a ton of Celebrities have been twitter patted. So here is my quick congrats to the recent marriages and engagements that have taken me by surprise and made me catch my breath.


Nick and Mariah you were the first and the most surprising. Nick, I gotta give you big props for recycling a ring from a previous relationship. Way to go getting married at 6 flags. How classy.

Oh Jessica too bad your low key relationship and wedding was over shadowed by the Wentz-Simpson debacle.Oh kids, you are so hard core rock-n-roll selling your photos to any magazine that will have you. I'm sure this marriage will last longer that Jessica's and Nick's

Yikes! I wonder where they are going to register? My guess is that they have their eyes on some nice hand blown art glass water pipes or some of the medicinal plants at the local weed co-op.
Way to go Catcher's Mitt. You show those people your still in the mood for love. I just hope you don't wait too long to have the wedding. I mean you are 71 I'm just being realistic.
Wow I didn't even know you guys knew each other. Well he seems like a better choice than Jared Leto but are you really ready to marry Van Wilder?

Old Fashion News I Forgot to Diss

So last night I was out with the Dice Riff Raff having a few drinks and I started to talk about ankle purses. Unfortunately (or Fortunately) no one had heard of them. Ankle purses were a look spotted going down the runway of Karl Lagerfeld's Chanel show in October of 2007.
If you can't tell from the picture they are inspired by those oh-so-trendy Alcohol Monitoring Devices that Celebs have been sporting on the runway. Thankfully it appears this trend never caught on.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

News to me

How did I not hear about the Wii Fit until today? Well if someone was trying to hide this from me so I would not start using the Wii, you got another thing coming. If they weren't all sold I would already have one.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Thanks a lot Bad Boys

So last night I was tormented by terrible nightmares about a pyscho-path student who was on a killing spree shooting up his school campus. When I woke up I was still some-what disturbed by the dream and was wondering what brought it on. Later today I realized it was because I was watching the 1983 movie Bad Boys with Sean Penn. The whole time I was watching the movie I kept thinking how much Sean Penn looked like Dylan Klebold. I give you a side-by-side match-up.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

America's Next Top Model is Tyra's Pupet Model Government

Last night was the season finale of America's Next Top Model and for the first time in ANTM history the winner was a Plus Size model. Now before I start talking smack let me say that the winner Whitney is not really plus size. She is a normal size girl who at most wears a size 8. All I can say is that this season was such a calculated fraud of a cycle.

Over this past year Tyra Banks has been so very outspoken about weight and body issues. I can only imagine it's because for the first time in her life she actually has them. It seems like every time I turn on Tyra she is either crying about people kissing her fat ass, or wearing a red swimsuit with her weight on it, making her celebrity guests tell her how hot she still is, or she pushes her "So What" campaign. (This is where the girl from Boy Meets Girl gathers a mob of women off the street and makes them hold signs that say "So What I have fat ankles". )

Well now she has gone to far. When she deliberately rigs a television modeling reality contest to make a point. Really I could tell by week 6 that these other girls may actually have a chance at a "real" modeling career but, there was no way in hell that they were going to be ANTM. Which I guess is okay because what "real" modeling have any of these past winners ever done. All I can say Tyra is "How dare you!" If I can't trust reality TV to run an true modeling contest who can I trust?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Did some one say Mustaches

Recent Purchase

A co-worker and I were recently talking about all Cats seem to have Autism. That night I went on line and ordered this book.

I can't wait until it comes.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Bad week for Austrians

Even though Ed calls me a German my maiden name "Wiens" a.k.a. "from Vienna" clearly proves I am Austrian. However thanks to this creepy dude I won't be claiming to be Austrian for quite awhile.

If you don't recognize him, he is the creep who locked his 18 year old daughter in home-made dungeon for 24 years. Even worse he father 7 children with her and raised 3 as his own. Even Captain Von Trap signing Edelweiss couldn't shake the shame this week.