Craptanisty Land

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Too Many Choices

During the Summer I will be attending several weddings. This means I need a new dress. I'm interested in several and would appreciate your input on the prime contenders below.

Monday, March 19, 2007

For Kasey

So on St. Patrick's day Kasey and I were talking about Oscar the Grouch. I mentioned Oscar's girlfriend, Grundgetta the Grouch and his best friend Slimy the Worm. Kasey asked me to post some Oscar facts so here they are.

This picture shows the Oscar I know. However he was orange and yellow at one time. Recently there was a "Grouch Apprentice" sketch on Seasame Street. During this sketch Oscar's girlfriend was candidate.

Many people over the years have payed visits to Oscar's trashcan including Bert (moved in twice when fighting with Ernie), Elmo, Telly Monster and Forgetful Jones (who I had nearly forgotten)

Some other facts include

Oscar's fav. food is sardine and spinach sundaes.*
*His fav. drink is pickle juice.

*His fav. activitie is disagreeabable order of grouches meetings, writing for The Daily Grouch newspaper, reporting on WORM-TV.*

*His fav. vacation is two weeks at the Mudville City Dump.*

*His Fav. weather is cold and nasty, gray sky, and with occasional rain and sleet.*

*His pet peeve is cheerful people.*

*His fav. saying is "Have a yucky day."

I'll look for Pictures of Osvaldo the Grouch, the Brown Grouch from Puerto Rico, Oscar's mom, grandmother, Bruno the garbage man and his uncle.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Little Garden in the Shade

Spring is here again and this gives me reason to redo my very small garden space.

Puddles enjoys spending time in the garden and keeps the birds away. Now my only job is to keep the snails away and keep Pudds away from the snail bait.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Mrs. Puddles Diary

I'm not sure if you know this but Mrs. Puddles keeps a diary. Usually it's hidden with the key tucked aways but yesterday tshe got wasted on cat nip I took a peak. Though I would share.

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. Fools! There was some sort of assembly
of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my
every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...

Lettuce Anyone?

I'm sure this picture is a fake but it makes me chuckle.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Music Monday

It's a British Invasion this week. Gustav last week gave me the charge to create a best an worst British band list. This is going to be a tough challenge for me in three ways.
  1. There are just too many great British Bands to just pick five. My list will fall short of mentioning all my faves (The Spice Girls didn't even get a spot nor did Radiohead, because they are a given)
  2. It's hard for me to think off any bad British bands. Maybe it's a personal flaw but I hardly met a British band that I didn't like.
  3. I don't want to pick the obvious 5 best British bands (Beatles, Rolling Stones, Radiohead, David Bowie, The Clash). I want to pick my 5 favorite British bands that will not make any retrospective top 10 list. Therefore I am limiting my picks from the 1990-till Present.
Before I go any further I have to give major thanks to Justin and Q magazine for keeping me up to date on the latest British bands.

The Best
Lady Sovereign- Yeah it's the UK's biggest midget and she's my new obsession. I know some people aren't down with her, but comon everybody get random

The Sundays- Oh my melancholy teenage years would have never been complete with out the vocals of Harriet Wheeler. I also always though the beginning guitar rift to Here's Where the Story Ends sounds strangely similar to Cemetery Gates by the Smiths.

Morrissey-Since I'm keeping the picks to the 1990's I won't include the Smiths but they are a band that changed my life and I love Steven Patrick Morrissey. Lot's of good songs to choose from but I will always go with my perennial favorite Suedehead.

Robbie Williams- He just recently one the "worst album" award at the New Music Express Awards but I love tracks like Let Me Entertain You, Millennium and this one
Rock DJ

Elastica- I've always told anyone who would listen to me that when I walk into a room I always want Elastica's The Connection playing. Well at least it's always playing in my head.

Blur- I've loved these lads since the early 90's and never stopped. My Favorite song is Coffee and TV partially because of the clever video by Hammer and Tongs and partially because it was written Justine of Elastica by Damon Albarn as an attempt to woo her back. The song didn't work for her but it sure worked for me.

Near Misses- My deepest sympathies to Texas, Travis, Dido, The Charlatans UK, Garbage, James, The Beautiful South, Manic Street Preachers, The Delays, Cornershop, Suede and Muse. You will always be on my Cd rotation.

The Worst
Chumbawamba- I'll just the this song speak for it's self

The Darkness-I just want to know where are all those people who said The Darkness was the Greatest Band ever. They are an okay novelty group at best.

But I thought The Office version of the tune was funny

The Streets- They have had a lot of critical acclaim but their genius was lost on me.

All Saints- This was a Spice Girls wanna be group. Dispite what the critics may say I am an Openly Proud Spice Girls fan. I love them all Geri, Emma, Vics, Mel B and Mel C. I've even followed their solo careers and they just missed making my top 5 list. But All Saints is another story.