Craptanisty Land

Friday, December 29, 2006

Answers to some Questions

These questions have come up a few times in conversation, so I felt it was time I answered them.
  1. What's the deal with Monticore
  • Monticore is the Tiger that I am posing with in my profile picture. I wanted some aninimity when posting so I thought that would be a good name.

  • Montecore is a male white tiger which was in Siegfried & Roy's white tiger troupe, used in illusion and magic acts.

  • On October 3, 2003, the tiger made headlines when owner Roy Horn was bitten on the neck by Montecore.

  • It is disputed whether or not the tiger attacked Horn. Montecore had been trained by Horn since he was a cub; he had performed with the act for six years. Siegfried Fischbacher, appearing on the Larry King interview program, said Horn fell during the act and Montecore was attempting to drag him to safety, as a mother tigress would pull one of her cubs by the neck. FischbacherMontecore had no way of knowing that Horn, unlike a tiger cub, did not have fur and thick skin covering his neck and that his neck was vulnerable to injury. Fischbacher said if Montecore had wanted to kill Horn, the tiger would have snapped his neck and shaken him back and forth. said

2. What does Craptanisty Land mean.
  • Well, ever since I hear Bart Simpson utter the words 'it's craptastic" I've been hooked. According to the Urban Dictionary
    Craptastic is in a good sense, the quality of being so crappy that the object is humorous or desirable. Etymology: blend of the words 'crap' and 'fantastic'
  • When I thought of naming my blog I though of Craptasnisty Land because it's like Fantasy Land in Disney Land only it's supper duper crappy.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I Heart Shrimp

It was a good day for Ed

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Time is Here

I 'm afraid I'm much too lame to get a Christmas Card out to you all, but last year Mrs. Puddles was nice enough to pose for the phantom card. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Trek-Mas to Adam

'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D,
On a routine short hop to Starbase 03,
With Data on duty in the command chair,
At Warp 6, the Enterprise soon would be there.

Just for something to do while the other crew slept,
He scanned where historical records were kept --
And with a blink of his eye and a cock of his head,
"Intriguing! Tomorrow is Christmas!" he said.

But no one was stirring, and he sought to find why,
And so he buzzed Geordi, who awoke with a sigh:
"Christmas? It's only an old holiday --
Now just let me get back to sleep, okay?"

"But is to wish Merry Christmas not human to do?"
And so Data wished it -- to the whole ship and crew.
Everyone on the Enterprise awoke from this clatter --
Picard rushed to the bridge to see what was the matter.

"What is the meaning of this noise, Mister Data?"
"Sir, is it not Christmas--?" "We'll discuss it much later!"
Just then Worf said, "Captain -- a Klingon Prey Bird!
Its hull has been damaged -- it's uncloaking, sir."
"On screen," said Picard, as the Klingon ship hailed:
"Federation vessel, our Life Support systems have failed!
A strange ship attacked us, inflicting the worst,
(though naturally, of course, we'd fired on it first)."

The Klingons beamed over, and the senior staff met,
To try and determine the source of the threat.
Said Picard, "Mister Data, an assignment for you:
Give all of these Klingons something to do!
They think it's the Romulans we should look for,
Get them all off the bridge, before there's a war!"
So Data departed, while the rest of the crew
Wondered: Romulans? Ferengi? If not them, then who?

Said Worf, "Sir -- disturbance on Holodeck Three!"
The entire bridge crew ran down there to see.
Roared Picard, "Mister Data, what the devil is this!!"
"Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas."
And so there they were -- on holodecks 3, 4 and 5
With synthohol, singing and Rokeg Blood Pie!
Soon the Big E was rocking with holiday cheer
Friend,foe, and family came from both far and near.

The Romulans showed up with some Romulan Ale,
The Ferengi brought goodies for free -- not for sale!
But a strange ship was coming, the captain was told,
With one crew member only, and a huge cargo hold.
Said the Klingons, "It's the strange ship that fought us-- attack!"
Said Picard, "On Christmas? -- Mister Worf, just hold back."
And then as the ship came into view,
Onscreen came its captain -- none other than Q!

He wore a white beard and a suit of deep red...
"Joyeux Noel, mon captain," was what Santa Q said.
"Tell those Klingons next time to not go so berserk.
You need good defense systems in this line of work.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be warping away...
Did you think anyone else could do this job in one day?"

"I'm sensing emotion," said Counselor Troi,
"Peace in the galaxy, Good Will and Joy."
And they stood on the bridge and watched Q take flight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!"

Fun Drug Triva

Just a tasty tid-bit. Did you know that Ecstasy was originally engineered by Merck Pharmaceuticals. It was marketed under the brand name Empathy and was used in couples therapy to bring couples closer together. Also LSD was originally used to treat Schizophrenia. Both of these drugs were banned without an act of congress thanks to Nixon. I just hope someday they don't try to take my drugs away, because as Moses says, they can take it "out of my cold dead hands."

Review of "My Husband's Three Wives"

My Husband's Three Wives is a documentary about a man named Brian Wachtendorf and his family, which consists of two wives and six children. Surprisingly Brian wrote a book. You can still get it for me in time for Christmas if you hurry.

I wish that I could link to a site that gives a non-biased synopsis of the show, but go figure I guy with three wives generates a lot of strong feelings. Even the polygamists are disgusted. However the "poly-viewers" expressed some of my own feeling like
"set against a backdrop of one-sided non-monogamy." To that I say "here, here!"

Let this be a warning to all (or one) if this ridiculous idea is every suggested to me, the first thing that will happen is I will grab any willing partner and announce that I too am taking a second "bride" or "husband."

Besides this I was very aghast at the occupation of Mr. Wachtendorf. It appears that he is a psychologist. I know, it was shocking to me as well that a psychologist could be so unethical =P. But, this was a new low. I mean to be completely honest psychologist are pretty well-trained in manipulation, but we must use this power for good not evil.

Even more terrible he worked as a Behavior Specialist in the Public Schools with Emotionally Disturbed kids. I only consider this worse because it is even closer to my job than the general term "psychologist."

Well I guess this story has a little bit of a Happy Ending for me, because a week after Brian married his 3rd wife she left him
. However according to an article in the Houston Chronicle, Brian said "Maybe it was just too complex for her to handle," he guesses. "Polygamy isn't for everybody." That's a good attitude Brian don't stop reaching for that rainbow.

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Friday, December 15, 2006

My Favorite and Least Favorite X-Mas Songs

Christmas is the time of year when your senses are treated to the various sights, smells, tastes and sounds of the holidays. Some of these sounds I love and welcome others, I loathe. So here is my list of my top 5 Christmas songs I love and the top 5 I loathe.

My Loves
1. War is over if you want it- John Lennon & Yoko Ono
Classic Favorite for those who love Liberal Guilt at Christmas
2. Blue Christmas- Elvis Pressly
Just Perfect
3. Last Christmas - Wham!
I love Wham
4. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney
I'm simply having a wonderful christmastime
5.I want A Hippoptamus for Christmas-
This is a new favorite of mine

My Loathes
1. Christmas Shoes-Alabama
Possibly the worst song. It goes along to a crapy movie by the same name.
2. Please Daddy don't get drunk this Christmas-John Denver
Also done by Alan Jackson and the Decemberist. It's so bad I almost like it.
3. Back Door Santa-Bon Jovi
4. Jingle Bell Boogie-Jingle Dogs
I know Adam loves this one but it drives me nuts
5. Grandma got run over by a reindeer

I couldn't think of anything more clever but it still sucks

Please share your list with me.

Monday, December 11, 2006

In the news

So Miss Rossie has recently gotten some flack for her insensitive "Asian Impression." Despite the public outcry, ABC and Barbara W. stand by Rossie. Rossie also gave non-apology and states she will continue to do "accents". This has raised some questions for me.

1. Does she really consider "that" an accent? If so, please go back to the comedy college and work on it because I'd hate to here your Arab or Indian accent.

2. I can't believe Rossie does not understand that Asians might find her "Ching Chong" rant offensive. This coming from the woman who claimed Kelly Ripa was a homo-phob because she didn't like Clay Akin covering up her mouth.

Also in the news Nicole "All Night Long" Richie was arrested for driving her car the wrong way on the freeway. All I have to say is "come on Nicole, I thought only grandmas did this in their Lincoln Town Car on the way to church. Also disturbing is that she only weighed 85lbs when booked.

PS: Sorry for the Fox News Links, I'll do a better job next time

Sunday, December 10, 2006


As you might know, I've been smitten by Fergie's Fergelicious. However I have a new contender for the holidays. It's Latkelicious. As Fergie would say "check it out."

Monday, December 04, 2006

Billboard Update/ Prison Break Blues

Just in case you weren't glued to the Billboard Awards last night I'll fill you in. Just some background Paris Hilton and Britney (I don't want no Scrubs or K-Fed)Spears were set to host the awards but canceled yesterday. Reportedly they felt uncomfortable talking bad about people they were friends with. Anyway, I tuned in to see what poor sap they got to fill in as the host. Well it's 10 minutes into the show and I'm not sure who is hosting. I thought they announced it was Kid Rock but all he did was walk out on stage all "cocky" and introduce Flava Flave and Howie Mandel. Okay now it appears there is no host just an announcer. Thanks a lot Paris and Brit!!!!

Well I lost interest in that quickly and now I'm watching "The Worst Jobs in History" on the History Channel.

Also it's bad enough that Tweener was killed on Prison Break but it appears that last night he ran his car into a telephone poll and a 17 year old passenger died. More bad news he had alcohol in his system and there were two 15 year old girls in the car.

One more thing on the Prison Break front, last night when Ed and I were watching the National Geographic Channel about gangs in prison, we heard the a large gangs fight broke out during the Prison Break Season Primiere at the Salinas Correctional Facility. Good Times

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Shameless Post

Here are some things I want for Christmas and where you can get them. Shameless!

Coats: I love coats and I want another one. These are all from Anthropolie or Macys but I'm sure you could get something like them anyplace. These are just the types I like

Now on to purses. I really don't care much about the purse as long as it's from The Sak. You can buy all this fun stuff on their website.

His Name is Frank. There is also an Otto and Andy dog purses.

Here are a few odds and ends for around the house.

My current Hair Dryer is pretty old

This is a Soft Dusting attachment for our Dyson. It is sold At Best Buy

This is a Hoover Spin Scrub. I've wanted one of these forever.

Friday, December 01, 2006

In the name of The Decider

I know that it's old news, that Bush has given himself and the government an obscene amount of power, when it comes to dealing with suspected terrorists. However last night I was watching In the Name of the Father. It's about 6 Irishmen wrongly accused of a 1974 IRA bombing. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it.

In our current national state, I find it has new meaning for me. You see the UK has had a problem with terrorist organizations too. They too have not been able to win the battle. They used the same tactics we use now (days long interigation of terror suspects, the use of psychological torture and military envasion of high terror areas). My point being, is we should learn from our Allies in the UK and learn that this strategy didn't work and in the case of the 1974 bombing at least 6 people were wrongly imprissoned for the crime. These tactics didn't make the UK any safer and I would argue it escalated the problem to some degree. However what has worked the best in recent years is continued peace-talks, comprimises and other non-military action.

I sure wish Mr. Bush would take the time to study historical responses to terror. I wish he had a better understanding of what was effective in these situations and what was not. More importantly, I wish that we as a people were knowledgable of the history of various governments responses to terror. Unlike Mr. Bush claims, this is not a new type of war. It maybe a new type of war to us, but most of the world has dealt with terrorist threats before. Perhaps if we as a people were more knowledgable about these issues, we would not stand for irresponsible action taken by our government.

Ps: This is my first political post. Please be kind to me.